At a Thai restaurant

A man eating a very spicy dish: "This is so hot my contacts are sweating."

Off season

Woman vendor at Farmer's Market: "When they all ask me what I do during the winter when the market is closed I tell 'em 'sleep and sex.' That shuts them up."

Who can argue with that?

Girl: "Anything wrapped in tin foil is a lot yummier."

What was the topic anyway?

In a social studies classroom, the substitute was drawing a map of Pittsburgh on the board for no reason:
Substitute: And here is the football stadium...
Class: what does this have to do with...?
Substitute (ignoring them): And here there is a big lift that leads way up high to these mountains where there are giant mushrooms and-
Boy: what if you're mitophobic?
Substitute: What's that, afraid of heights?
Boy: No, afraid of mushrooms.
Class: *laughs*
Substitute: Stay on topic.
-Olivia

At Oasis

Worker: "Want one of these breakfast burritos?"
Other worker: "They look gnarl."
Worker: "That's good, right?"
Other worker: "Only in snowboarding."
-thanks to Pat

At Northside Liquor store

Snowy Friday night, three young bundled-up women looking at bottles of brightly colored Andre champagne:
First woman: "Which one should we get, the peach or the strawberry?"
Second woman: "Oooh, the strawberry looks nice."

A clarification

At the school cafe. Student cafe worker: "Just because we're vegetarians doesn't mean we don't kill animals. We just don't eat them."

Gender confusion?

Newfield dairy farmer's wife: "...and they still have male cows with udders on kids TV shows. It drives me insane!"

What's your price?

Overheard at Greenstar:
Young woman: For half a million dollars, I'd change my name to Obi Wan Kenobi. . . and I don't even like Star Wars!
-Melissa

A tight spot

I was sitting at the table, my boyfriend stood, blocking my only way of leaving the table. I said "I hate this feeling of being trapped. Mom, what do you call that?" Mom replied, "Marriage."
-Ashley

Overheard in the Wegman's Ladies Room

Small child: Why not Daddy come?
Mother: Daddy's at work.
Child: No, why not Daddy ever come?
Mother: Why doesn't Daddy come to the grocery store?
Child: Yeah.
Mother: Well, Mommy likes to do the grocery shopping . . .[pause] .. .when Daddy does the grocery shopping he comes home with straaaange things!
-Melissa

Messy, too

At the doctor's office. Doctor: "Well, we can go in and biopsy the nodule but if it turns out to be an artery then the lung will fill up with blood, and that's considered bad form."

It can drive you nuts

Teen girl crying in school bathroom: "I hate it when people tell me secrets because then I can't tell anyone."

Not overheard, but:

From Craig's List Ithaca
Lost & Found:
I lost my mind recently, somewhere around Cornell. I might have left it in the stacks of Uris Library, or perhaps I lost it in Statler Auditorium since I think it was trying to run away from the differential equations exam. Its done this before, but I really need to find it before next Thursday. Thanks!!

a day off

High school boy to disgruntled mother: "And how was your Veteran's Day?"
Mother: "It was lovely, I wasn't with you."

We know the feeling

Attractive, well dressed man: "My job description doesn't include minion."

Weighty issue

A Forth Grade student talking about going to McDonald's: "I'm not thrilled with McDonald's. It increases people's weight, and I just don't want my weight to increase anymore."
-gbarrows

Gender differences?

Mother commenting on her two very different daughters: "I would attribute their differences to gender, if they were different genders."

Overheard at Rite Aid

Mother to her 5 or 6 year old son: "No, honey, I'm not going to get you another whoopie cushion."
-RMA

Moving on

In the library, standing on a stool near the high shelves, African American girl around seven talking to her father.
Girl:"......Dwight D. Eisenhower, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, George H....W....Bush, Bill Clinton, George Bush."
Dad: "Obama, I think Obama is going to be moving into a new house."
Girl: "Do you mean the White House?"
Dad: "Yes, I think Obama's going to be moving into the White House."

Hazards of staying up too late to watch the debates

Man: "Last night I dreamt that I was at a party and Obama was there and he wanted me to ask him a question. I asked about the space program. While he was telling me his plan to launch a rocket to Mars I realized I was completely naked."
-MEC

Our lives should all be so stressful

Middle school girl: "I don't get nearly enough homework, it's really rather stressful."

Don't ask

Overheard on campus, two girls talking: "You call your boyfriend a golden brown crunchy nugget?"

Not overheard, but...

Another poetic missed connection on Craig's List: If I saw you somewhere else, may be I do not care, but I saw you in front of Aldi..., you put a bag full of grocery over your shoulder and rode a bike away, at the moment I felt I knew you for years, you did not look around so I think you did not see me, everything happened in less than 10 seconds....This was sometime ago during a sunny summer day, but your tall, healthy and energetic back imagine and your assertive, gentle and scholarly look has been always a mystery in my mind, you are around 6' tall, fit, 30ish or younger, brown hair, green bag and a nice bike which I do not remember the color. I do not expect you to reply even you see this message, I do not want to disturb your life, but I do wish to let you know that your natural non-abrasive and unassuming manner has unconsciously impressed someone deeply, thanks for the beautiful imagine, and have a nice fall break.

Jumping the Gun

Overheard at the Mall amidst Halloween decorations everywhere, I am not making this up.
Woman to employee: "Don't you have Christmas lights yet?"

Smoke for the water

At the Apple Harvest Festival: a couple of guys come up to one of the booths at the festival:
Dude:"Can we have some water?"
Guy at the booth: "It's .50 cents a cup."
Dude: "Can we have some for this?" Points to a large, smoking, hookah.

Overheard on campus

Woman passing open classroom doors: "I love watching the teachers dance in front of their classes."

In Collegetown...

Irate young man on his cellphone: "If you'd just stop saying 'the mall where Sears is' and actually gave me some useful information, I could give you directions."
-Melissa

Overheard by Ithacans...

In the observation car on an Amtrak train between Lincoln, Nebraska and Chicago.
A miner from Kentucky: "Every day above ground is a good day."

and...

On the train, traveling with church group on a long weekend in Chicago for a Cubs game.
Woman: "We're all good Christian people, most of us are divorced....Are you a widower or divorced?"
-Gary

Planning...

Middle school boy: "The best way to die would be in your sleep. The worst way to die would be trapped in a car underwater."

On campus

After a female college student uses the word "y'all" in a sentence:
Male college student: "You think you're so black. you're from Maine!"
-rstanto

Looking for good in everything

Two female college workers:
Woman with black hair: "I feel like I work in a phonebooth, all of the students talk on their cellphones all day outside my office. First they talk to their probation officer, and then they call their dealer..." Woman with short hair: "Well that's something good, at least it's not the same person."

It adds up

Overheard at a middle school study room. Boy: "I would be in advanced algebra, but I stopped listening."
RMA

I wonder if she feels that way about Cabbage Patch dolls, too.

Overheard in the toy aisle of Wegman's: Wistful five-year-old girl, "Mommy, why don't you like Barbie?" Exasperated mom, "Because no one really looks like that."
Thanks to Mary Ann at http://fivewells.blogspot.com/ for this one (send more!).

Don't you always wonder too?

Third grade girl discussing a book about immigrants to America: "I really like that book because they talked about the outhouse."
MEC

Overheard at Treman State Park

A little girl to a woman with a black and gray Cairn terrier: "My dog is just like yours, she's a poodle, she's pink, with pink eyes and black circles in her eyes. She's just like your dog."
MEC

At the new Belle Sherman playground

Small girl after spinning violently in circles on new playground equipment: "It was really fun, it was like being on a cloud."

Back on campus

Three guys walking between classes.
First guy: "Did you see that girl? She's in our english class."
Second guy: "Or history class?"
First guy: "I was trying to see how big her tattoo is."
Third guy: "I know, it's bigger than I am."

Changing styles

Overheard at an (unnamed) Ithaca swimming hole:
Guy: "Dude, this water is cold."
Other Guy: "It's good for you, it'll put hair on your chest."
Guy: "Haven't you been watching the Olympics? I don't want hair on my chest."

Good old days

Girl to grandmother: " Granma, what was your ringtone growing up?"
-Sarah's grandmother

Overheard not so clearly

Overheard at Frendlys in Ithaca
A daughter and her mother were eating lunch together and the daughter was eating fries. She looked up at the mom and said
Daughter: "You know what's really good?"
Mother: "What?"
Daughter: "Fries with a Jamocha Shake."
Mother: "Flying with mocha fish?"
Daughter: "No mom."
- Ashley

Old putty

Girl playing with the loose skin on her father's elbows: "I love elbow putty. It's one of the nice things about getting old."

Those were the days...

Older man on the Commons: " Back in the day they used to sell switch blade kits because they couldn't sell you switch blades."

Overheard on the playground

Little girl to bigger girls: "This pwayground seems to be designed fow kids wike you who awe incwedibuly big and not fow puny wittle second gwaders wike me.
- R & J

Measuring up

Pre-teen girls talking:
First girl: "You're going to get a bra? How do you even know what cup size you are?"
Second girl: "Cups? I don't even have any cups."

Even in our sleep...

Girl: "Last night I dreamed I had a high-speed Internet connection and I was watching videos on YouTube. It was a good dream."

At Borders

Two male (art?) students looking at Sculpture magazine: "This isn't art, they just twisted it around and turned it upside down and then made him take a sh*t."

Is there a public restroom theme emerging?

Overheard today outside the ladies room at Target, mom to preteen daughter:"Don't be a martyr. Just go in, already!"
Melissa

Once again not overheard, but:

We may need to change this blog from Overheard to Found Poetry:
Ithaca Craig's List Lost & Found:
Lost / Stolen Junkyard Bike - Ice Cream Reward
Last seen on porch - Clinton St. Downtown. July 4th around 3pm.
Junkyard cruiser: Rusty frame - no color just rusted chrome. Single Speed. Taped-up seat. No hand brakes. A real beaut. Curvy bod. One heck of a ride too ;). Will treat finder/stealer/perp to purity ice-cream or a drink or burrito if returned. Reply or just ride it to RIBs. Wouldn't mind sharing, just want to ride it again. Thx!

Honor thy parents?

Overheard in a public restroom:
Mother: “I don’t just know why no one ever flushes.”
Teenage Daughter: “Oh just shut up.”

Not a jock

Middle school girl: "The only reason I put on the glove when I was in the outfield was to hide my face from the ball, and to keep the sun out of my eyes. And it smelled gross."

Growing up

A pair of baby boomers: "Remember when times were lean we used to bring home toilet paper from school or work to try and save money? Now that we're older I'm tempted to bring toilet paper from home, the stuff they use at work is too cheap and scratchy."

A sad fate

Female student: "And every night after work? I came home with at least two dozen donuts? Cause otherwise they would have thrown them all away?"

and the rest of the story?

Two women chatting: "...and I told him it was just a girl's night out..."

All that really matters

An older woman at Salvation Army talking with her coworker: "Just a good smile, that's what matters. I don't care the color, as long as he has a good smile."

More out-of-Ithaca experiences

Still on vacation, heard in a dollar store by an excited tourist: "If I lived here I'd buy everything here."

good advice

Overheard is on vacation, so this was heard somewhere else but we thought we'd share it with you anyway.
Young man in a sleazy part of town: "I'd never get a tattoo at a place that sells bongs."

Overheard at the 1st annual Ithaca Scottish Games

An artist talking about painting: "It's like singing, but with color."
Melissa
[Ithaca Scottish Games (http://www.ithacascottishgames.com/)]

Not overheard, but a love poem

From Missed Connections in Craig's List -Ithaca, at Target: "I don't know if you were looking at me in disgust, trying to figure out why I'm so goofy or checking me out, but i think you're very attractive 10 items or less girl and I'd like to see you again sometime..."

Overheard

Young girl with "outie" navel: "My belly button is always high."

Overheard in Ron Don's Pub in Trumansburg

Woman eating dinner with little girl, asks waiter: "There are no tomatoes, do you not put tomatoes on your salads?"
Waiter to woman: "I don't make the salad"
Later when paying the bill the waiter says: "I don't, I don't make the salads!"

Us too

Overheard in Target: “I’m so sick of Hannah Montana. I was over her before I even liked her.”
KAZ

Not overheard, but:

T-shirts seen at Wegman's: "Stop looking at my t-shirt"
and my own personal favorite: "Suzy Q Bail Bonds cuz your mama wants you home"

At Loaves and Fishes

Overheard in the line waiting for food to be served: "Have you looked at the wine list? I think a chardonney would go nicely with this."

Overheard at the Ithaca Festival

Wrestling through the crowds: “It’s not good for your agoraphobia.”
-KAZ

In the checkout line at Wegman's

Checkout woman: "I love the smell of local strawberries. I wish my father was still here. He used to take me strawberry picking near Spencer and if there were wild blackberries by the side of the road we'd stop and pick them too."

Crucial question

Mother to girl playing Gameboy: "What's the point of a virtual world if you can't change your clothes?"

On the way to the swimming hole at Six Mile

Blonde young woman to apparently gay young man: "Noooooo, I didn't even sleep with him and he was in love with me."

Heard on campus

Guy: "What happens in Potsdam stays in Potsdam."
Other guy: "What happened in Potsdam?"
Guy: "I don't know."

We know the feeling

At the library: "I don't act responsible, because I hate acting responsible."

Shock and awe

On Bus:
- "Did you see that lady? She was breastfeeding her son!"
- "You're kidding!"

In the movie theater

Man to companion:"I hope there's a really loud part in the movie where I can blow my nose."

Two women walking on the Commons: "If you want something Obama-ish we can go to Autumn Leaves."

From the greater Ithaca area

Heard at Long Point on Seneca Lake, guy talking on his cellphone: "Yeah, he would love it here, the lake is huge, I mean huge, man!"

Neither do we

Young woman to another young woman: "I never know what I'm going to do until I've gone ahead and done it."

New uses...

At Short Stop Deli, one woman to another woman with a cell phone tucked between her breasts: "That's your cellphone case?"
Other woman: "Why not, they're big enough aren't they?"

Also at the toy store

Dad: "Yup, you can buy this with your money."
Little, little girl: "But I don't want to buy it with my money, I want you to buy it with your money."

At Alphabet Soup

A boy showing his father two toys: "Which one do you think is better?"
Father: "I think they're both ugly."
Boy: "Shut up, it's Mother's Day not Father's Day. Now pick one and stop being a poop."

We hope it's a dog

Overheard at Borders: Woman (fondly, showing other woman a photo on her phone): Fifty-five pounds! Can you believe it? And he’s only seven months old!

-KAZ

Huh?

At P & C, two women getting out of a car: "How can she be pregnant if she's having her period?"

All in perspective

Dude with long hair, on skateboard, talking on cellphone: "Money ain't the thang, it's just paper, just green paper, it doesn't make the world go round."

Zero

Overheard: "I'm reading a history of zero, it's more interesting than you might think."

Modern romance?

Female student looking at her cellphone: "....I was going to give it to you..."
Male student: "If I wanted your phone number I would have asked for it."

Lofty career goal?

Overheard on campus. Female student talking to other students: "When I graduate I want to be a pirate."

At the Greenstar dairy case

Little boy reaching for a brightly colored single serving size of probiotics: "Mommy, why don't we ever get any of these?"

At Satori day salon

Woman talking with woman cutting her hair: "The funny thing is I like both of the guys, I mean they are both decently attractive, but I bet if I dated them I wouldn't like them at all."
-RMA

Duck for lunch?

On the street today:
Woman on phone: "The kids can do archery while we eat lunch."
-Melissa

They deliver?

young woman on cell phone: So are you picking up the worms or am I?
(pause)
young woman: Are we just going to decide what everyone wants when we get there?
(pause)
young woman: I don't know where the place is. I've only had them deliver.
-Melissa

Even simulated life is like that

Girl: So I was on Neopets last night? And the fairy queen sent me on a quest? And none of the prizes were as good as I thought.

Creepy crawlies

Woman to daughter: "I tried on so many things at Salvation Army, I hope I don't have cooties."
-RA

Little fatty

In a parking lot, woman on her cellphone: "Que gordita!, how much does she weigh?"

Only in Ithaca?

Woman at library: "I went and had a facial, and the woman doing my facial is splitting up from her husband. They're getting a divorce so her daughter said 'mommy, does that mean you have a girlfriend?' I said 'no, honey, just because we're getting divorced doesn't mean I'm not attracted to men."

No comment

"Tenure, like some sexually transmitted diseases, is forever."

Sweet

Girl to her parents: "You always say I'm spoiled rotten but sometimes the almost rotten fruit is the sweetest."

Like bees to honey?

Two tween girls talking about earrings: "No offense, but I'd never wear hoops because I've heard they attract boys."
-RA

We just don't see it either

Female student on cellphone: "Dude, why is everyone getting their eyes checked so friggin much?"

Paying attention in school

Overheard in Family and Consumer Science class:
Teacher: Does everyone know what a brassiere is?
Boy: Yeah, we learned about it in social studies.
Teacher: ????
Girl: That's a VIZIER.
Boy: Oh.

-OL

Herbal remedy

Looking at medicinal herbs at Oasis:
"I need some pigroot."
"Pigroot? What is that for?"
"So I don't eat like a pig"

-PS

Tough choices

Adolescent boy: "I don't know if I want to go to Heaven or Hell. In Heaven you have everything you want but Cerberus is in Hell and that's what I really want."

Leave it to your imagination

Girl eating ice cream at Purity: "What is this green thing in my hairnet?"

We blinked too

Young woman at Pizza Aroma:
"And then he put that glaucoma thing in my eye and I said NO WAAAY! and blinked"

Name that tune

Small boy at the library:
MAMA WHERE'S THE PASTA!
MAMA WHERE'S THE PASTA!
MAMA WHERE'S THE PASTA!

-RMA

Pets, keep watching out!

At Greenstar - woman showing pictures on her phone to someone: "And this is my cat dressed as a fairy."

Pets, watch out!

Dinner guest: "We don't eat meat very often and we never cook it at home, but when the pet food starts looking good it's time to have some meat."

First impressions

Man talking to woman: "That's the first thing that comes to mind when people think of you: Rocky Mountain oysters."

Yum

A girl: I like to wear pink and brown because I look like a chocolate covered strawberry.

On parting from the bus

One patron to another departing the bus: "Thank you for the images of flowers!"
- MEC

Pay day

College student on cell phone: Hey, I’d kill if you’d run down and pick up my paycheck and cash it and then we can go out and…
(listening)
Duuuude.
(listening)
Duuuuude.
It’s only around $60.
(listening)
I promise you I’ll pay it all back, the car insurance and the rent and the….

But does it leave scars?

Heard at Ithaca College, a family going to opera matinee:
Girl to parents: "Why do we have to go inside on such a nice day and have our ears pierced?"

At the library

A mother and daughter (about two years old) looking at the library computers:
Mom: No, honey. Those computers are for big kids.
Girl: Oh but mommy, I am a big kid. I am. I am!! (as mother drags kid away)
-RMA

Which club was that?

At Wegman's:
Woman talking to a sad looking girl: "Don't worry, I so got kicked out of the club too!"

Don't get any ideas

Two guys walking on campus
First guy: "You know like in the movies where someone gets killed and they deserve it because they say something so dumb?"
Second guy: "And she's in two of your classes?"

We can only wonder...

Two white guys walking on the Commons: "Is it true if you don't tell anybody and you die you come back as a potato chip?"

-LP

And wear shorts too...

Not really overheard, but...
Recent local student response on a college exam asking what the 4th amendment provides: the right to bare arms

An expensive habit?

Overheard on The Commons: "Your parents don't pay for your cell phone calls?! That sucks!"

-Larry

Feeling powerful

Overheard in Greenstar at the checkout
Checkout woman: "How are you?"
Customer: "I'm good. (pause) Actually (confidential lowering of tone) I'm at the peak of my powers."
Checkout woman: "(taken aback) Oh! Well! . . . .I hope you're using them for good."

-Tonia

Just wait

Young man on bus: I turned 21 in March and it sucks

It's a good thing he's on the bus

Guy on TCAT: I was so high I forgot how to drive my father's car, I was going so fast I just downshifted into the parking lot

Everybody counts

Very young girl at the Moosewood: There are 9 people in my family if you count the dog and cat.

Under a streetlight

Girl: I'm going to parallel park my shadow

Tech candy

Middle school student looking at cellphones: I like any technology I don't have.

Start listening now!

Welcome to Overheard in Ithaca, a shameless imitation of other eavesdropping sites, only with added local color. This is your chance to listen in at Wegmans, walking on the Commons, at Felicia's Atomic Lounge, at Lansing High or anywhere else in the (greater) Ithaca area and share the wonderful and weird things that people say.