Thursday, April 30, 2009

Perils of modern life

Girl on cellphone: "How did you accidentally flush your cellphone down the toilet? Haven't you almost done that before numerous times?"

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Sunny day on the Commons
"I've had these shoes for years but I never got a chance to wear them because I lived in Binghamton. It was always rainy or snowy. Isn't Binghamton the most depressing place you've ever been?"
Man: "Yes, I guess it really is."

Friday, April 24, 2009

Try a surgeon

Overheard at Home Depot.
Man to salesman in window and door department: "We'd like to get an external door."

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Middle school girl: "Why would anyone want to go out with him? He eats pen ink."

Monday, April 20, 2009

While getting the snow tires off (at last!)

Car Mechanic: "A woman came in, she said 'I'm from out of town, I don't live here' and I said 'that makes sense.'"

Saturday, April 18, 2009


Girl: "Why did you tell him that I told you that he spilled the urine sample?"

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Nothing matters when the sun is shining

A beautiful sunny day in the park

"Let's lie down on the grass in the sunshine."
Mom: "But there's deer poop and it's muddy."
Girl: "What does that matter?"

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

It's all relative

Woman to pre-teen girls: "Why didn't you stay at the playground?"
Girl: "Because there were lots of little little kids."
Woman: "And you are big kids?"
Other girl: "No, you're only a big kid if you wear huggies."

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Turning colorful

At Wegman's
Her: "Oh these dishes are pretty!"
Him: "They are not really my style."
Her: "Yeah, I know. You were brought up "plain white" and stayed "plain white" after you moved out and I was brought up "plain white" but turned "colorful" after I moved out!"
-G. Barrow

Friday, April 10, 2009

Doing pig parts

In the hallway
Student: "So are you, like, dissecting today?"
Other student: "No, we already did that. Now we have to, like, do pig parts."

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


Two women at lunch.
Younger woman: "I'm always so busy, I never have time to go to a movie or anything."
Older woman: "Oh, just wait until the kids leave home and the dog dies."

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Small pleasures

Girl: "The water in the drinking fountain was delicious today."

Friday, April 3, 2009

What really matters

In a Western Civ. class
Woman: "So what time period are you up to?"
Student: "We're on World War I, I don't know if we'll make it up to now by the end of the semester, we still have five chapters to go."
Woman: "Well, this should help you understand the context of NATO and the president's visit to Europe."
Student: "And it'll help with Jeopardy!"