Not overheard, but....

From the TC3 Police Blotter:


Incident Type: FIRE ALARM  3:07 PM
Smoke from burnt food (hamburger) activated fire alarm.  Dryden FD and campus police responded.  No flames, but burger unable to be consumed.  Alarm reset


Incident Type: FIRE ALARM - RES HALLS  9:25 PM 
Smoke from burnt food activated fire alarm.  Dryden FD and campus police responded.  Alarm reset.  Beginning of summer session and novice chefs.


FIRE ALARM - RES HALLS  10:40PM 
Smoke from a student's attempt to fry bananas activated the smoke detector.  No flames, uncertain as to fate of bananas  Dryden FD and campus police responded - alarm reset.


SERVICE CALL - UNCLASSIFIED  8:00PM 
Campus Police were contacted about a tree that had fallen down across Panther Drive.  Despite the sheer strength of the officer, due to tree's size, Dryden Fire responded to assist.


MARIJUANA OFFENSE  11:50 AM 
Campus Police found drug paraphernalia in a main building parking lot.  Surprisingly, no one came forward to report they had lost a small amount of marijuana and a pipe.  If it's yours, we'd like to chat.


FIRE ALARM - RES HALLS  5:29 PM 
Smoke from burnt toast activated fire alarm.  Dryden FD and campus police responded. No flame, alarm re-set. (Yeah, we know....)


FIRE ALARM - RES HALLS  12:00PM 
Smoke from burnt steak activated fire alarm.  Dryden FD and campus police responded.  No flame, alarm re-set. Steak was partially edible.


FIRE ALARM - RES HALLS  2:50 AM 
Smoke from burnt food activated fire alarm.  Dryden FD and campus police responded.  No flame, alarm reset. Hamburger discarded.


LARCENY 10:20 PM 
Campus Police investigating a reported larceny of sneakers.


FIRE ALARM - RES HALLS 3:30PM 
Smoke from burnt food activated fire alarm.  Dryden FD and campus police responded, no fire, alarm reset. Cooking lessons strongly suggested

No news is....no news

At the Horseflies concert on the Arts Quad: "If the Ithaca Journal gets any thinner I don't know how I'll wash my windows."

Family ties

Woman on cellphone: "Going back and forth from daddy to daddy? At least we had that, she's not even going to have a daddy. She's stupid, I want to punch her in the face."

Rodent knowledge

Girl on phone, in the hallway: "You don't know what a gerbil is?"

Career prospects

Overheard at Ithaca dinner table:

Dad to 3 year old: "If you don't eat your meat, you'll be a vegetarian
and you'll have to start eating more beans and tofu.
3 year old: "But Daddy, I don't want to be a vegetarian!  I want to be
a storm chaser in the spring and summer and a flower scientist in the
fall and winter!"
-Janelle