Maybe YOU do

Three women strolling in conversation.
Woman: "Yeah, you feel relieved when the head pops out."

Daughters in arms

Woman, looking at her freckled, upraised arm: "A couple of years ago my mother said 'I can't believe it, I have my 90-year-old mother's arms!'."

Omnipotent?

Woman: "Are you sure about that? I see everything that goes by on the internet."

At Turning Stone

Waiting for a rock concert to begin, already over an hour late.
Older woman, looking at her watch: "If it starts any later I'll miss church tomorrow."

Overheard on Giles St.

Frazzled mom walking up the hill with her two sons: "OK, Children of the Corn, stop touching each other!!!"
Older boy in ridiculously loud voice: "I LOVE touching people."
-Vikki

Celebrations?

Woman: "How did you celebrate Father's Day?"
Other woman: "Vacuuming. That's how we celebrate most holidays, we go on a frenzy of vacuuming."

It really is an island

Overheard at the rain flooded Hangar Theatre after a performance of Once on This Island:
"It's a good thing we didn't come in the usual way or we would have drowned!"

First date

Young Daughter to Rapidly Aging Father: “So, he wants to know does he really have to meet you before we go out? Because he thinks you sound scary.”

Unclear on the concept

Professor: "So the student said 'I can't have gotten an F, I didn't do anything."

Who do?

Three students walking down the hall.
Guy: "She's married."
Other guy: "She's married? She looks so young."
Guy: "They get married at, like, 12."

Man: "So you worked at CBORD? What was it like? I hear it's a white collar sweatshop."