What's your price?

Overheard at Greenstar:
Young woman: For half a million dollars, I'd change my name to Obi Wan Kenobi. . . and I don't even like Star Wars!
-Melissa

A tight spot

I was sitting at the table, my boyfriend stood, blocking my only way of leaving the table. I said "I hate this feeling of being trapped. Mom, what do you call that?" Mom replied, "Marriage."
-Ashley

Overheard in the Wegman's Ladies Room

Small child: Why not Daddy come?
Mother: Daddy's at work.
Child: No, why not Daddy ever come?
Mother: Why doesn't Daddy come to the grocery store?
Child: Yeah.
Mother: Well, Mommy likes to do the grocery shopping . . .[pause] .. .when Daddy does the grocery shopping he comes home with straaaange things!
-Melissa

Messy, too

At the doctor's office. Doctor: "Well, we can go in and biopsy the nodule but if it turns out to be an artery then the lung will fill up with blood, and that's considered bad form."

It can drive you nuts

Teen girl crying in school bathroom: "I hate it when people tell me secrets because then I can't tell anyone."

Not overheard, but:

From Craig's List Ithaca
Lost & Found:
I lost my mind recently, somewhere around Cornell. I might have left it in the stacks of Uris Library, or perhaps I lost it in Statler Auditorium since I think it was trying to run away from the differential equations exam. Its done this before, but I really need to find it before next Thursday. Thanks!!

a day off

High school boy to disgruntled mother: "And how was your Veteran's Day?"
Mother: "It was lovely, I wasn't with you."

We know the feeling

Attractive, well dressed man: "My job description doesn't include minion."

Weighty issue

A Forth Grade student talking about going to McDonald's: "I'm not thrilled with McDonald's. It increases people's weight, and I just don't want my weight to increase anymore."
-gbarrows

Gender differences?

Mother commenting on her two very different daughters: "I would attribute their differences to gender, if they were different genders."