Jumping the Gun

Overheard at the Mall amidst Halloween decorations everywhere, I am not making this up.
Woman to employee: "Don't you have Christmas lights yet?"

Smoke for the water

At the Apple Harvest Festival: a couple of guys come up to one of the booths at the festival:
Dude:"Can we have some water?"
Guy at the booth: "It's .50 cents a cup."
Dude: "Can we have some for this?" Points to a large, smoking, hookah.

Overheard on campus

Woman passing open classroom doors: "I love watching the teachers dance in front of their classes."

In Collegetown...

Irate young man on his cellphone: "If you'd just stop saying 'the mall where Sears is' and actually gave me some useful information, I could give you directions."
-Melissa

Overheard by Ithacans...

In the observation car on an Amtrak train between Lincoln, Nebraska and Chicago.
A miner from Kentucky: "Every day above ground is a good day."

and...

On the train, traveling with church group on a long weekend in Chicago for a Cubs game.
Woman: "We're all good Christian people, most of us are divorced....Are you a widower or divorced?"
-Gary

Planning...

Middle school boy: "The best way to die would be in your sleep. The worst way to die would be trapped in a car underwater."

On campus

After a female college student uses the word "y'all" in a sentence:
Male college student: "You think you're so black. you're from Maine!"
-rstanto

Looking for good in everything

Two female college workers:
Woman with black hair: "I feel like I work in a phonebooth, all of the students talk on their cellphones all day outside my office. First they talk to their probation officer, and then they call their dealer..." Woman with short hair: "Well that's something good, at least it's not the same person."

It adds up

Overheard at a middle school study room. Boy: "I would be in advanced algebra, but I stopped listening."
RMA

I wonder if she feels that way about Cabbage Patch dolls, too.

Overheard in the toy aisle of Wegman's: Wistful five-year-old girl, "Mommy, why don't you like Barbie?" Exasperated mom, "Because no one really looks like that."
Thanks to Mary Ann at http://fivewells.blogspot.com/ for this one (send more!).

Don't you always wonder too?

Third grade girl discussing a book about immigrants to America: "I really like that book because they talked about the outhouse."
MEC

Overheard at Treman State Park

A little girl to a woman with a black and gray Cairn terrier: "My dog is just like yours, she's a poodle, she's pink, with pink eyes and black circles in her eyes. She's just like your dog."
MEC

At the new Belle Sherman playground

Small girl after spinning violently in circles on new playground equipment: "It was really fun, it was like being on a cloud."

Back on campus

Three guys walking between classes.
First guy: "Did you see that girl? She's in our english class."
Second guy: "Or history class?"
First guy: "I was trying to see how big her tattoo is."
Third guy: "I know, it's bigger than I am."