Question of local interest

Overheard at a dinner party: "If a cow dies in Varna and they hydrolyze it and it ends up in the lake is the water vegan?'

tongue in cheek

Man to companions: "How long did it take until the war in Iraq was 'officially over'? A week? If we'd just killed everyone there it would have been over in two weeks."

- "I used to say 'I'm retired' when people asked me what I do, but now I find I get more sympathy if I tell them 'I'm out of work'."
-Gary

Reversed roles?

Heard on Friday at school.
Teacher: "YAY!!"
Student: "What is it?"
Teacher: "The day is over."

If that's good....

Woman to girl: "How's your dog doing?"
Girl: "She's good. She had her eye removed."

good reading

Two women, one carrying "Dreams from My Father," Barack Obama's early memoir.
First woman: "How are you liking the book?
Woman with book: " Oh, I love it. I have such a crush on him. But I feel like I'm cheating on my husband when I read it."

back from vacation-killer yoga

Overheard at the Ithaca airport:
Tall, fit man: "I haven't seen you in hot yoga lately."
Other man: "No, it's a killer."