Not overheard, but...parking hazard!

Sign in parking lot outside Ithaca veterinary office:
RESERVED PARKING
For Veterinary Care of Ithaca Clients Only
All Others Will Be Neutered

thanks for the sympathy, but...

At a dressing room, mother is trying on clothes.

Mother: "NONE of these work for me."

Tween daughter: "I know, it's not like there aren't a lot of lumpy, middle-aged ladies out there looking for clothes."

Advanced Geography

Overheard at Tim Horton's in Geneva:
Guy in his 20's: "There is North Dakota. Are there any other norths? Oh, well there is North Carolina! And there is  West Virginia....is isn't East Virginia, is it? No, it's just Virginia....right?

Honestly?

On the street, two women: "I actually didn't care that she slept with him, to be totally honest."

Higher math

Overheard at a local high school: “I actually saw ¾ of her breasts!”

TMI

Overheard outside a bathroom:
Woman leaving to woman entering: "The toilet didn't flush completely. But there's not much there...I'm very hydrated!"

Future rulers of the universe

Overheard by volunteers cleaning up the trash and the hundreds of beer cans left by the Cornell MBA students after this year's "Johnson Follies," their annual private party at the State Theatre:

"And these are the people who will be trying to privatize our Social Security when they get their six-figure jobs."

Nom

Guy: "Just put some maple syrup on it, put some ketchup on it, and I'm good to go."