Not quite it

Easter in Dryden
Teen girl: "Today's Easter."
Dad: "Yep."
Teen girl: "Why don't we have any jellybeans or chocolates or anything?"
Dad: "We can go out and shoot a rabbit."

At a party...

Woman:"You got a new car? A new car?"
Her friend: "Well, it was a new car this morning, but by this afternoon it was a used car."

Heavy lifting

Guy: "Those are supposed to be good for your brain, those mindless games."

A matter of taste

Woman: "I drive a convertible, and someone broke into it a few days ago. They took a few things, but they left all of my CD's. That was what really bothered me the most about it."

First Aid?

Teen boy: "Mom, I'm not the class clown. I'm the class defibrillator. When I'm not there the class is dead, it flatlines. "

Not what you want to hear on a date....

Woman: "So then he said 'Oh, I really have to go, I need to clean my fish tank.' "

Unusual weather

On one of those oh-so-frequent drizzly spring mornings, when everything is wet and the worms come out to catch a breath of air and cover the sidewalk.
Small boy: "It's worming out!"

Only in Ithaca?

Still at the diner....

Waitress: "Get a masters degree and you can work here too"

Overheard at brunch

Customer: "You have hamburgers?"
Waitress: "Our hamburgers are the best! Seriously. They're the reason I started dating our cook."

At the Lincoln St. Diner....

Customer: "I'll have a tall glass of water."
Waitress: "Hangover-sized water?"

Well put

Outspoken redhead: "Ignoring me would be a full time job."