Well rounded diet

After a slumber party.
Girl: "I had pizza for dinner, then pizza for a 2:30 a.m. snack, and pizza for breakfast!

Skuffle off to...

Boy: "A skuffle at the Super Bowl? A skuffle sounds like fun, like a fight in your jammies."

Smart kid

Four year old boy: "I don't like eggs....except when they're in brownies!"

Clean living

Teen boy: "I heard drinking was actually good for you."
Other boy: "Yeah, binge drinking is really good, it really cleans out the system."

Huh.

Man: "Saltines are trailer park pastries."

feeling...a little bit happy

Adult (opening door to visiting 3-year-old and aunt): "Why, hello! And how are YOU?"
3-year-old (whispering): "Well, I’m…a little…bit…happy." (bursts into tears).

-KAZ

Love and Luck

Woman: "The last Valentine's Day with my ex he gave me two lottery tickets. He came home late and threw them on the table."
Other woman: "Did you win?"
Woman: "I won a little while later when I got divorced."

Like, true

Teen girl: "Shes always like; 'I like your -insert random thing that no one likes here-.' And I'm like 'Oh hi, I like your........hair'."

Girl: "Most babies look like my grandfather."