Emotional affair

Woman: "Where did your husband get it?"
Other woman: "Wegman's. He gets everything there. He's having an affair with Wegman's."

Do you have to ask?

Woman: "If my coworkers keep telling me about jobs somewhere else I'd be perfect for should I take that as a bad sign?"

Teen girl: "My mom was like, 'I can't believe you were talking to a drunk guy on the street!' and I was like, 'it was only oral'."

Truth in advertising?

Woman at hardware store: " I found the perfect yellow paint for the bedroom. Then I noticed it was named 'wide awake'."

Tough choices

Girl: "Soup is so confusing. Do you drink it? Or do you eat it?"

Keep an eye on this kid

Overheard by a former Ithacan.
First grade boy to first grade girl:
"I'm not showing her my underwear, I'm showing her a magic trick"

At a daycare

7 yr. old girl: "I like this kind of ice cream, it has M&M's in it, only they don't have M's on them...I think they erased them."

Not too independent

Girl to Mom before school:
“I’m staying after and getting dinner with my friends, because I like that it makes me feel independent. My therapist says all teenagers want to feel independent. So I need some money for dinner.”

Overheard at the Apple Harvest Festival

Young woman: "I'm pretty much a vegan. Except I eat fish whenever I can get my hands on it! And I eat eggs."