Not overheard, but...

You had to be there. Or not.
On the bus. Guy showing the other passengers a photo of his bong, on his cellphone.

Over-read

Email message: "If guilt burned calories I'd be Twiggy."

And you know that how?

Guy on the bus: "I work with a bunch of girls and they're all on the same cycle, so they're always bitching at each other."

Barking up the wrong tree

Girl: "This dog is like the TSA. He barks at people who are obviously not terrorists."

It's all relative

At the Hangar Theatre's newly renovated women's restrooms, during intermission.
Woman, exclaiming loudly: "Oh wow, this is heaven."

Life's not fair

Overheard at local swimming hole.
Woman: "I just don't get it. Will someone please explain how it is that hot flashes don't burn off calories?"