Heard in Dryden

Woman: "This weekend he's coming over to the detail the mower. He's going to buff it and everything."

All the world's a stage

Woman: "Ithaca is like one of those plays where there are just a few characters playing all of the different roles."

Looking for excitement in a small town

Carolyn Peterson, Mayor of Ithaca leaving Collegetown Video with a few DVDs in hand.
Woman: "And what does the mayor watch on a Friday night?"
Mayor, briskly walking downtown: "Bad guy movies. They were out of the French one I wanted so I'm watching bad guy movies."

Family photo

Woman talking about being in labor: "And she started talking pictures and it wasn't even her camera. I didn't want Aunt Betty to go pick up the pictures and find a crotch shot."

Guess you had to be there

On the Commons:
Guy: "The water turns to blood."
Other guy, excitedly: "Right! The water turns to blood when the sun shines on it!"

That's why it doesn't work

In health class.
Teacher: "Now remember, abstinence is the only way to guarantee you won't get pregnant or catch HIV.
Student: "What's abstinence again?"
Teen boy: "It means no sex, which is the worst possible thing in the entire world."