Tasteful

Teenager, looking at alphabet noodles: "I wonder what font they use?"

Hooked

Young woman: "The hardest thing I've ever had to do was quit Farmville. I've been clean and sober for three weeks now."

Free ride

Parent: "She is such a carpool vampire."

Don't go there

Crazy night at the end of the semester in Collegetown. Guy noticing all of the police cruising around:"They've got people throwing up everywhere. They've got their hands full."

You know the type

Girl: "He looks like the kind of guy who would eat with a spork."

Guy: "Yeah I saw her the other day. She grew her hair out, she looks really hot. I mean she always looked good, but now she looks like a heterosexual."

Oh well

Vendor at the plant sale at Stewart Park: "We have some unidentified fuzzy mint plants that are REALLY WEIRD. We don't sell them."

Overheard at Viva

Looking at the wide range of brightly painted stools:
Tiny little girl to even tinier little girl: "Don't worry, we'll have matching chairs."

Straightening it all out

Girl: "I wonder if corn should wear braces. Some of these rows seem a little crooked."

Prom Priorities

Overheard at the mall:

“Well, she’s failing four classes, so she might not get to go. But her dress is really nice.”

Something you don't usually hear at the dentist

At Dr. Ormsby's office overlooking the lake. Woman: "I'm sitting here thinking I could live here. I could totally live here."