Missed opportunity

On the Commons.
Young woman to her friend: "So he said 'my parents are out of town, so we're having a party.....so take my business card. Seriously, take my business card.'...."

Read my mind, please

At Barnes & Noble, a man talking to a saleswoman.
Man: "Excuse me. I was looking for a book.......(expectant pause).......It was on the display........?........A few days ago............But it's not here."

Coffee toothpaste?

Woman at dinner party: "Coffee would be fine. My husband drinks it up until he goes to bed. He needs it to stay awake while he brushes his teeth."

Woman leaving Unitarian Christmas Eve service:
"There was a lot more mention of God than I was expecting."

How about at Target?

At the art museum, next to a Monet.
Guard: "These things are all priceless. You can't just pick them up at Walmart."

Not overheard, but in case you're not done with your holiday shopping:

From Ithaca Craigslist:

Santa and Elves - $125 (Owego)
19 crochet pattern books, AND dolls, air freshner dolls, and toliet paper holders. The dolls are Santa craft dolls 15", elf dolls, an indian girl air freshner doll 5 3/4", and a girl 5 3/4" toliet paper dolls 13", 15" craft dolls and 13" craft dolls. (22 dolls total). Here are some pictures of the finished product. (Not for sale) All or nothing $125.00. They must go. Have some yarn and excessories lace, bows, beads and such, would be willing to make a deal.

Heavenly weather we're having

Man:"Turn on the Christian radio station. They have the best weather."

Not overheard, but...

A girl's chat account status message: "I'm deactivating my Facebook account and going for a three hour walk in the woods."

You never know what you might hear....

We at Overheard were busily listening to a group of people walking in front of us, hoping they would say something witty and pithy, when we realized they were discussing their part in a string of thefts. Not exactly what we were looking for.

That's one way to look at it

Girl: "Isn't thong underwear just a walking, talking wedgie?"

Would you jump off a cliff if your friends did?

Overheard at Ithaca College
Guy: "I hate making decisions. I always let whoever I'm with decide. I never make decisions."

Overheard in the Target dressing room

Dismebodied female voice: "I could wear this with black tights and totally slut it up."
Other disembodied female voice: "That's exactly what I would do."

Where you from, pardner?

Guy meeting a group of people: " In certain cultures a greeting is like, 'hello' and then you show your penis."

Another reality check

Overheard in a checkout line at a drug store.
Customer: "Excuse me, which of these lottery tickets can be cashed in in California?
Cashier: *stupid expression* "Its New York state Lotto sooo... none of them"
Customer: "You don't have a universal lottery ticket?"
Cashier: "Please leave my store ma'am."
-Ashley

Reality check

On campus, a guy walking up to two young women.
Guy: "Why are you waving at me?"
Girl: "I'm your friend! And so is Lauren."
Guy: "I'm cool with Lauren."
Girl: "But not me?"
Guy: "You tried to kill me in my dream."

small furry rodents

Girl: "Isn't it wonderful to have a small furry rodent in your hand?"
and: "He's really smart and he's really strong. That's a bad combination in a gerbil."