Overheard at Target

A group of college-aged people crossing the parking lot.
Woman: "Did you see her?" She was having contractions right there in the aisle, between items."
Guy: "Yes, and she had more than ten items."

Think positive

Young woman on the Commons: "And you've got to stop with all of this negative sh**, I don't want any more of that f*ing negativity."

They're back!

Student: "I woke up this morning naked. I don't know how, I don't know why."

Craggy man: "Ah shaved her down, made her look like a lion..."

Tough love

Young woman: "If I fall down and I'm not bleeding all over my mother is like 'just get up, you're fine.' That's the way she is.

Group of young women walking to swimming hole:
Woman: "But she's so skinny!"
Other woman: "I know her upper half is. I don't care what you think, her legs are hideous!"

We think so too

"Any chocolate bar with a graph on it has got to be good."

Take a deep breath...

Young man dressed all in black, lounging on a bench and talking on his cellphone: "I have four times the lung capacity of an adult male."

"When I had my toenails painted the first time it felt like my toes were in drag."

Just add hot fudge

Girl: "I have a question. What's the point of vanilla ice cream?"

Woman to daughter in her 20's: "Maybe when he comes out of the army they'll have turned him into the kind of insensitive guy you like."

Voices drifting in from the street at night.
Male voice: "And all the deliveries? They're done by robots underneath the bed."
Female voice: "That's so awesome!"

That time of year at last

Girl: "Oh my God, how did THAT part of me get sunburned?"

Getting old

In front of library, watching traffic go by.
Woman to man: "Why is it only old people ride motorcycles these days?"

Interesting question...

"How long do you think the Ithaca City School District's policy excluding students enrolled in charter schools from participating in high school athletics will last now that New Roots has enrolled a 6'6" ninth grader who loves playing basketball?"
Overheard by Carla