Nature in all its glory

Man: I was biking up past Game Farm Road and the trees were all filled with birds, I think they were starlings. I shifted gears and the sound must have startled them, they all took off from the trees at once and as they did you could hear the plop of bird droppings everywhere. They got me three times, one on each arm and one on the front of my jacket, so at least it was symmetrical."

Formerly private moments

Overheard in a public restroom:
Young woman: "Yeah, OK. I love you too mommy. (LOUD FLUSH) Bye."

traumatic childhood memory

Teenage boy: "I remember in kindergarten, they gave us a work sheet and I was so confused or scared I didn't know what to do, so I just sat there and didn't do anything. They sent me down to the office and Mrs. L helped me with it."
Girl: "Do you remember what it was about?"
Teenage boy: "It was about Puss in Boots."

We don't know, do you?

At the physical therapist.
Police officer (guard?) comes in to the waiting room, leading a man in a red prison uniform and handcuffs. A small girl is sitting by herself in the waiting room. After the men are escorted through to the workout room she turns to the other person sitting there and pointing to her wrists asks: "Are those things heavy?"

After spring break...

Female student: "I haven't worked out all week and I'm going to DIE!"

Sounds creepy

Also on Saturday morning.
Man: "Wegman's was crawling with therapists."

For your own safety

Early Saturday morning.
Roofer, up high on a ladder, on a cellphone: "You have to get coffee."

Sage advice

A group of women sitting and talking at Smart Monkey
Older woman: "It's strange, I look in the mirror and I don't recognize myself, I still feel the same inside."
Other older woman: "That's why I rarely look in the mirror."

Overheard at Borders

Barista, who will be on Jeopardy!: "I can't tell you if I win, but if I quit my job you'll know."

a common phobia

Two male students leaving campus.
First student: "It's the math that's freaking me out."
Second student: "No bullsh*t!"

Doesn't everyone?

Woman to her health care provider: "What? You mean you don't have a book group?"

Overheard outside LACS

Two men leaning against the wall, deep in conversation: "There are probably no intrinsically evil species but there are intrinsically evil realities."

More local opinion

On opposition to the proposed charter school after the President's endorsement of charter schools: "If only people in Ithaca liked Obama then New Roots would have a chance."

Question of local interest

Overheard at a dinner party: "If a cow dies in Varna and they hydrolyze it and it ends up in the lake is the water vegan?'

tongue in cheek

Man to companions: "How long did it take until the war in Iraq was 'officially over'? A week? If we'd just killed everyone there it would have been over in two weeks."

- "I used to say 'I'm retired' when people asked me what I do, but now I find I get more sympathy if I tell them 'I'm out of work'."
-Gary

Reversed roles?

Heard on Friday at school.
Teacher: "YAY!!"
Student: "What is it?"
Teacher: "The day is over."

If that's good....

Woman to girl: "How's your dog doing?"
Girl: "She's good. She had her eye removed."

good reading

Two women, one carrying "Dreams from My Father," Barack Obama's early memoir.
First woman: "How are you liking the book?
Woman with book: " Oh, I love it. I have such a crush on him. But I feel like I'm cheating on my husband when I read it."

back from vacation-killer yoga

Overheard at the Ithaca airport:
Tall, fit man: "I haven't seen you in hot yoga lately."
Other man: "No, it's a killer."