Modern romance?

Female student looking at her cellphone: "....I was going to give it to you..."
Male student: "If I wanted your phone number I would have asked for it."

Lofty career goal?

Overheard on campus. Female student talking to other students: "When I graduate I want to be a pirate."

At the Greenstar dairy case

Little boy reaching for a brightly colored single serving size of probiotics: "Mommy, why don't we ever get any of these?"

At Satori day salon

Woman talking with woman cutting her hair: "The funny thing is I like both of the guys, I mean they are both decently attractive, but I bet if I dated them I wouldn't like them at all."
-RMA

Duck for lunch?

On the street today:
Woman on phone: "The kids can do archery while we eat lunch."
-Melissa

They deliver?

young woman on cell phone: So are you picking up the worms or am I?
(pause)
young woman: Are we just going to decide what everyone wants when we get there?
(pause)
young woman: I don't know where the place is. I've only had them deliver.
-Melissa

Even simulated life is like that

Girl: So I was on Neopets last night? And the fairy queen sent me on a quest? And none of the prizes were as good as I thought.

Creepy crawlies

Woman to daughter: "I tried on so many things at Salvation Army, I hope I don't have cooties."
-RA

Little fatty

In a parking lot, woman on her cellphone: "Que gordita!, how much does she weigh?"

Only in Ithaca?

Woman at library: "I went and had a facial, and the woman doing my facial is splitting up from her husband. They're getting a divorce so her daughter said 'mommy, does that mean you have a girlfriend?' I said 'no, honey, just because we're getting divorced doesn't mean I'm not attracted to men."

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"Tenure, like some sexually transmitted diseases, is forever."