Mad foods!

Overheard at the farmers' market on Saturday:


"Dude, we can get mad natural foods for the apartment here!"

How does it feel?

Overheard after the Bob Dylan concert:
"He didn't play that Tangerine one. Or the one that goes "How does it feel?" or did he? I don't remember hearing that "How does it feel" one."

Love hurts

On the Commons. One teen boy to another:

 "I wish I never fell in love, 'cuz that shit sucks!"

Not overheard, but....

From the TC3 Police Blotter:


Incident Type: FIRE ALARM  3:07 PM
Smoke from burnt food (hamburger) activated fire alarm.  Dryden FD and campus police responded.  No flames, but burger unable to be consumed.  Alarm reset


Incident Type: FIRE ALARM - RES HALLS  9:25 PM 
Smoke from burnt food activated fire alarm.  Dryden FD and campus police responded.  Alarm reset.  Beginning of summer session and novice chefs.


FIRE ALARM - RES HALLS  10:40PM 
Smoke from a student's attempt to fry bananas activated the smoke detector.  No flames, uncertain as to fate of bananas  Dryden FD and campus police responded - alarm reset.


SERVICE CALL - UNCLASSIFIED  8:00PM 
Campus Police were contacted about a tree that had fallen down across Panther Drive.  Despite the sheer strength of the officer, due to tree's size, Dryden Fire responded to assist.


MARIJUANA OFFENSE  11:50 AM 
Campus Police found drug paraphernalia in a main building parking lot.  Surprisingly, no one came forward to report they had lost a small amount of marijuana and a pipe.  If it's yours, we'd like to chat.


FIRE ALARM - RES HALLS  5:29 PM 
Smoke from burnt toast activated fire alarm.  Dryden FD and campus police responded. No flame, alarm re-set. (Yeah, we know....)


FIRE ALARM - RES HALLS  12:00PM 
Smoke from burnt steak activated fire alarm.  Dryden FD and campus police responded.  No flame, alarm re-set. Steak was partially edible.


FIRE ALARM - RES HALLS  2:50 AM 
Smoke from burnt food activated fire alarm.  Dryden FD and campus police responded.  No flame, alarm reset. Hamburger discarded.


LARCENY 10:20 PM 
Campus Police investigating a reported larceny of sneakers.


FIRE ALARM - RES HALLS 3:30PM 
Smoke from burnt food activated fire alarm.  Dryden FD and campus police responded, no fire, alarm reset. Cooking lessons strongly suggested

No news is....no news

At the Horseflies concert on the Arts Quad: "If the Ithaca Journal gets any thinner I don't know how I'll wash my windows."

Family ties

Woman on cellphone: "Going back and forth from daddy to daddy? At least we had that, she's not even going to have a daddy. She's stupid, I want to punch her in the face."

Rodent knowledge

Girl on phone, in the hallway: "You don't know what a gerbil is?"

Career prospects

Overheard at Ithaca dinner table:

Dad to 3 year old: "If you don't eat your meat, you'll be a vegetarian
and you'll have to start eating more beans and tofu.
3 year old: "But Daddy, I don't want to be a vegetarian!  I want to be
a storm chaser in the spring and summer and a flower scientist in the
fall and winter!"
-Janelle

Not in Ithaca, but overheard...

Walking through Windsor, England

Woman: Oh,look at that lovely Castle
Man:Well its the Queens House
Woman: I Know that..... But isnt it a shame they built it so close to the airport

LJBK

Helpful hints

Woman at pet store: "Everyone who goes by, I imagine giving them a virtual makeover. Like she needs a bra with more lift, hoist the girls in the air, and he definitely needs to get rid of those high water pants."

Search for the missing word

At the gym. Woman walking on the treadmill to man walking on the treadmill next to her.
Woman: "They have a big new stage, a promethian stage, a prisinthiam stage."

High aspirations?

Woman on the Commons: "In my next life I will wear more socks."

More holiday spirit

Girl, in the blinking, blinding Christmas lighting display area of the big box store: "This is the seizure section of Lowe's."

That sinking holiday feeling

Teen girl: "Christmas is such a great idea, so poorly executed."

Still white?

Girl: "I saw this guy in the library, and he was wearing white pants and he looked kind of cool and interesting. And then I saw him the next day and he was wearing the same thing. And then the next day he was wearing the same thing. And I didn't even want to think about it."

No respect

Girl at the mall: " And he says 'this place reminds me of my grandmother' and I'm like how come? And he says 'Cause it's totally dead.' I couldn't believe it."

Ouch

High school girl: "I'm just saying. TC3 is the cone of shame of local colleges."

Which came first, the chicken or the ....?

Vegetarian girl: "What does chicken taste like?"
Dad: "It tastes like tofu."

Humble observation

Woman on the Commons: "Humility is the least valued virtue these days, which is really too bad."

Not overheard, but...

Onions!
From Ithaca Craig's List (CAPS in the original)

I HAVE SEVERAL BUSHELS OF ONIONS. I USED TO FEED THEM TO A FRIEND WHO LOVED ONIONS. SOMETIMES HE ATE THEM STRAIGHT UP RAW. ONE TIME I FED HIM TOO MUCH AND HE GOT SICK AND HIS PORES OOZED ONION JUICE FOR LIKE A DAY. GOOD TIMES. UNFORTUNATELY SAID FRIEND IS GONE. I MISS HIM AND THAT MAKES ME CRY MORE THAN CUTTING ONIONS DOES.

ANYWAY, MY LOSS IS YOUR GAIN. I HAVE NO NEED FOR SO MANY ONIONS ANYMORE. HIT ME UP IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THESE FREE ONIONS. I PURCHASED THEM ABOUT ONE MONTH AGO. I THINK THEY ARE STILL GOOD. THEY SMELL LIKE ONIONS. YOU MIGHT NEED SOME ONION GOGGLES, BUT I DONT HAVE ANY.

ONION ENTHUSIASTS/FANATICS/ADDICTS ONLY (IN MY FRIENDS HONOR). WHEN YOU MESSAGE ME, PLEASE EXPLAIN THE DEPTH OF YOUR LOVE FOR ONIONS.