Not nearly enough

Girl:"How much would we save if we used hair to floss our teeth instead of dental floss?"

Gender law

Guy: "Wow, look at how long the hair on my arm is."
Girl: "Can you shave it, or is that against the manly code?"

Like, true

Teen girl: "Shes always like; 'I like your -insert random thing that no one likes here-.' And I'm like 'Oh hi, I like your........hair'."

Guy: "Yeah I saw her the other day. She grew her hair out, she looks really hot. I mean she always looked good, but now she looks like a heterosexual."

Girl: "Dandruff comes in all kinds of shapes."

Not even faking it

Sign behind the counter at Cost Cutter's (where no one is smiling):
"Smile, smile, smile, even if it's fake."