That's one way to look at it

Girl: "Isn't thong underwear just a walking, talking wedgie?"

Would you jump off a cliff if your friends did?

Overheard at Ithaca College
Guy: "I hate making decisions. I always let whoever I'm with decide. I never make decisions."

Overheard in the Target dressing room

Dismebodied female voice: "I could wear this with black tights and totally slut it up."
Other disembodied female voice: "That's exactly what I would do."

Where you from, pardner?

Guy meeting a group of people: " In certain cultures a greeting is like, 'hello' and then you show your penis."

Another reality check

Overheard in a checkout line at a drug store.
Customer: "Excuse me, which of these lottery tickets can be cashed in in California?
Cashier: *stupid expression* "Its New York state Lotto sooo... none of them"
Customer: "You don't have a universal lottery ticket?"
Cashier: "Please leave my store ma'am."
-Ashley

Reality check

On campus, a guy walking up to two young women.
Guy: "Why are you waving at me?"
Girl: "I'm your friend! And so is Lauren."
Guy: "I'm cool with Lauren."
Girl: "But not me?"
Guy: "You tried to kill me in my dream."

small furry rodents

Girl: "Isn't it wonderful to have a small furry rodent in your hand?"
and: "He's really smart and he's really strong. That's a bad combination in a gerbil."