Guess you had to be there

On the Commons:
Guy: "The water turns to blood."
Other guy, excitedly: "Right! The water turns to blood when the sun shines on it!"

Tough love

Young woman: "If I fall down and I'm not bleeding all over my mother is like 'just get up, you're fine.' That's the way she is.

Messy, too

At the doctor's office. Doctor: "Well, we can go in and biopsy the nodule but if it turns out to be an artery then the lung will fill up with blood, and that's considered bad form."