Coffee toothpaste?

Woman at dinner party: "Coffee would be fine. My husband drinks it up until he goes to bed. He needs it to stay awake while he brushes his teeth."

Woman leaving Unitarian Christmas Eve service:
"There was a lot more mention of God than I was expecting."

How about at Target?

At the art museum, next to a Monet.
Guard: "These things are all priceless. You can't just pick them up at Walmart."

Not overheard, but in case you're not done with your holiday shopping:

From Ithaca Craigslist:

Santa and Elves - $125 (Owego)
19 crochet pattern books, AND dolls, air freshner dolls, and toliet paper holders. The dolls are Santa craft dolls 15", elf dolls, an indian girl air freshner doll 5 3/4", and a girl 5 3/4" toliet paper dolls 13", 15" craft dolls and 13" craft dolls. (22 dolls total). Here are some pictures of the finished product. (Not for sale) All or nothing $125.00. They must go. Have some yarn and excessories lace, bows, beads and such, would be willing to make a deal.

Heavenly weather we're having

Man:"Turn on the Christian radio station. They have the best weather."

Not overheard, but...

A girl's chat account status message: "I'm deactivating my Facebook account and going for a three hour walk in the woods."

You never know what you might hear....

We at Overheard were busily listening to a group of people walking in front of us, hoping they would say something witty and pithy, when we realized they were discussing their part in a string of thefts. Not exactly what we were looking for.